Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Small Steps

You know what's really sad? I can no longer read a newspaper or listen to the news without my heart breaking into a thousand pieces. I've never been someone who is super vocal about things, but today, I need to vent. So many things are happening in our world, and I'm tired of all the bad.

I'm tired of living in a free country, yet still not being able to go for a walk after the sun starts to set in my own neighborhood. I hate not being able to go places alone. I hate the fact that in a country that is supposed to be free, I am so limited because there has been a fear instilled into me as a girl. I hate that our society sees women as objects and not as human beings. You know why I hate that? Because 1: I have a brain. I am a person. I'm not stupid. It's offensive to be looked at when I go out in public sometimes. I can tell when someone notices me in a nice way, and I can also tell when they are being inappropriate and gross. I'm a pretty conservative person in the way I dress, and I still get stares and comments...So it's really not about what we wear, ladies...don't listen to the lies that say thats a reason. 2: How offensive is it to honest, kind men that we are taught to fear them? Our society is making all men out as monsters, and they are not. I have a younger brother, and you know what? He is the kindest, most loving person, and I hate that there could ever be a time where he is seen as a bad person just because he is a man.

This whole thing going on with the "swimming star" (I refuse to give him fame by saying his name) is a joke. It's saying that women really aren't valued. I can't imagine what it would be like to be sexually assaulted, because I am very lucky to have never been in that situation, but to the women who have been, the court system that took that particular case failed them.

I know men and women who have had their lived destroyed and pulled apart because of the wickedness of people, and to think that we are supposed to put our faith in a system that seems to be looking out for only one group of people is not helping anyone. I'm tired of looking at my teenage cousins and praying that they never find themselves in a situation where their dignity and self esteem is torn from them. I'm sick of hearing his name and seeing his face, but I'm also thankful for the good men who found him, and I am especially thankful for the life of the sweet woman who will be forever changed. I pray that she can find peace and healing, even though she was so awfully let down by the system that was put in place to protect her.

I know people who work in various areas of the justice system, and I'm thankful that I get to say that I absolutely think they are good people who do the right thing and I honestly would trust them with my life. Sadly though, I know the reality is that not every person working in the justice system has justice as their first priority. I hope that this is changed, but until then, all I can do is practice kindness. I will never understand why people do horrible things, but I can love the people who are hurting and broken. I may not be able to fix the whole country, but I can work on my neighborhood and my community. Lets just go show people they are loved and valued...small steps can lead to a great journey.

Wander Always.
{The Grounded Gypsy}


Monday, September 5, 2016

Memories Of A High School Survivor

My little cousin starts high school today, and I'm kind of freaking out. She went from this little thing that would fall asleep in my arms to a tall, gorgeous, smart, brave girl who could take over the world. I'm excited for her, and nervous for her.


When you ask people about their high school experience, they either loved it, or they hated it. I loved it the first two years, but the last two were hell on earth. The more I thought about why, the more I came to realize... Finding who you are is painful. Not everyone will like you, and there is really nothing you can do about it. High school is where your innocent views of the world become a distant memory, and you have to face the reality that not everyone or everything in the world is good.


Going through the first two years of my high school career, it was fun. I had the same friends I had grown up with, I got to spend my free time with them, I had my first boyfriend... Life was good. But by the time Junior year came around, I found that just because I was growing as a person, didn't mean my friends were too. I lost relationships with people I loved. I broke up with my perfect first boyfriend who turned out to be one of the biggest jerks I would ever meet. It was hard.


I left the country to go work in Central America the summer before Senior year, and I came back ready to live my life with love and kindness. I wanted to be someone who brought peace to every heart she met, but high school and peace hardly go hand in hand.


I was tired of the drama, and because of that, I tried to speak into it and bring peace, but unfortunately, young people are often bad at doing that, and I only made things worse. Senior year was one of the biggest growing seasons I've ever had.
I learned a lot about who I didn't want to be, I learned who I did and didn't want to be friends with, and I learned that sometimes, people are in your life for a season. And that's ok. Mostly, I began to learn who I was as a person and what real love looked like.


My hope for my darling, sweet, beautiful cousin is that she would find who she is. That she would be a woman of kindness and someone who is never afraid of adventure. High school can be hard, but it's harder if you're wrapped up in drama. Stay grounded and be an ambassador of kindness and and example of peace. Learning to do those things now will carry over into life after high school, and those are the tools that will get you far.
Live peacefully and wander always.

{The Grounded Gypsy}

Monday, August 29, 2016

A Mind for Creating

The things I'm good at aren't taken seriously by the world I live in. I often feel like I don't fit in with society, and that's because I don't. My friends all went to college and are now graduating and starting careers, and I still don't know what to do with my life because the things I'm good at, the things I'm interested in, I can't make money doing. 

When did artists go from high members of society, to starving young people, many who eventually give up and cave into societal standards of success? 
I love to create, and although creativity is something that society says it appreciates, that's hard to believe when there is only so much creativity that is appreciated before it becomes "too creative". 

Free spirits know no bounds to the realm of creating. We explore the universe captured in our minds, and we don't apologize for taking what we see and putting it out for the rest of the world to see.  We want to explore the thoughts, ideas, and beliefs of others in a respectful and loving way, and art allows us to do that. It could be through visual art, music, acting... You name it, we want it. 
I want a world where ideas and thoughts can be expressed through the creative process. 

In my opinion, we live in such a structured society that allows for so much creativity, and as long as you make millions of dollars doing it, you're praised. For those of us that are lost and wondering, trying to find a way to provide for ourselves and families, we are looked at as lazy or unmotivated. 
We live in a society that encourages us to thrive in capitalism, which has good and bad sides, but it really hinders our ability to feel like active members of the world. When I was in school, music and art were where I thrived, but then they were cut. 
I don't have a mind made for math or science... I have a mind made for creating. I have a passion for letting people look into my mind, into my world, and looking into the lives of others. I know I won't fit in, and I know I'm different. I've finally reached a place where I no longer care, I no longer seek approval from those around me. I am happy and confident in my own skin, but I now have the struggle of finding what my place is. How do I become a functioning adult without giving up my core? Exploring the world is easy... Finding where you belong is the hard part. 
Keep creating and wander always
{The Grounded Gypsy}

Friday, August 26, 2016

Glitter in the Dustpan

This may not come as a shocker to you, but I have an extremely hard time sitting still. I have to be moving or doing something with my hands all the time, and because of that, I love doing projects.

For you other project lovers, you know it can quickly go from being a small area of clutter, to a giant explosion of supplies. For this particular project, I was using glitter, and as we all know, glitter ends up on every surface in a 100 mile radius from where it's being used. I finished this project weeks ago, but that doesn't mean the glitter stops showing up.

One of my dearest friends told me last week that someone she loves very much passed away. Her uncle fought for his life, but in the end, he didn't wake up.

It is my personal belief that we were never supposed to experience death and dying. I believe it is something we were never going to know, and that is why it is so hard and painful. It is a grief so big, we don't know what to do with it.
It is also my belief, and the belief of my friend, that dying is not the end, but the beginning. I believe in life after death, and because of that, we have hope.

Life gets messy, it's hard to deal with. It's not always pretty, and it can go from a small amount of clutter, to an enormous disaster in the blink of an eye. Watching my sweet friend in her moments of heartbreak, I see her hope. I see the light she carries, and the way she lives her life knowing that life is short. I see her forgiving others and showing people grace and kindness. Most wonderfully, I see her love everyone.
Life might be messy, but love and hope are like glitter...they don't stop showing up.

As I was sweeping my floors, weeks after my project, I caught a glimpse of the glitter in my dustpan. Even in the darkest, dirtiest, messiest days,the sparkle of hope and love doesn't die...you just have to look for it.

May your soul be anchored in hope and love, but may your feet wander always.
{The Grounded Gypsy}


Thursday, August 25, 2016

...Pulled By The Stars...

Do you ever lay awake at night unable to sleep? Mind racing...thoughts whirling...dreaming without closing your eyes? I do. Like right now.

The stars inspire a deep wanderlust in my soul. The night sky is full of magic in my mind, and the moon seems full of dreams.
Sleeping seems like a good idea, but my heart keeps telling my soul to run for the hills, and my soul keeps telling my mind to dream of places I've never been.
The travel seed was placed in my soul, and now it keeps me awake at night. I have this desire to run wild all the time. Adventure calls my name and the forest speaks to my heart.

My heart is always wanting to run, even if my feet do not. Maybe that's why I's horrible at relationships; my heart has kind of a wild mind of it's own. Tying it down only makes it worse.

I suffer from emotional claustrophobia... feeling overwhelmed by being tied to something or someone. When I feel too close, I run.

When I'm alone at night, laying in the dark, and the moon is the only thing lighting my room, my heart and mind begin to roam again. Giving my mind ideas for adventure, telling me to run again.
Wild hearts can't be tamed, but the thing is; we really don't want to be.

Live adventurously and wander always.
{The Grounded Gypsy}

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Thoughts From A Broken, Wild Heart

One thing I've learned in the small 24 years I have been on this Earth is this: my plans often do not happen the way I want, and hearts can be broken. It's often in the midst of chaos that I do my best thinking, and what better chaos is there than a broken heart?
The process is strange. First, there is disbelief, waiting to wake up from a bad dream, only to find its not a dream. Then you reach a point where all you can do is welcome reality, and although it is painful, it is necessary.

Hearts are strong, yet fragile things, and although Pinterest quotes say differently, wild hearts can be broken. Free and wild hearts break almost worse. We are optimistic to a fault, and we hold onto slivers of hope even when we know they are lies. We try to move on and move passed the pain, but we never stay still for long...We run, and our brokenness follows. We think we run from it, but it eventually catches up with us and we have to deal with it all over again.
We love deeply and expect others to treat us the way we treat them, but not everyone works that way. We always see the good in others, but we often have to face the hard truth that not everyone is kind, loving, and compassionate. Some people are selfish and only think of themselves.


Maybe that's why free hearts stand out...the ability to live and live without hesitation is rare. We give the ideas that create a life full of wonder, and because of that, the magic and wonder that follows a free spirit is shown to the world.
 Be kind, love deep, and wander always,
{The Grounded Gypsy}

Friday, August 12, 2016

I've always been told that I'm very smart, and although that comment in itself is a great compliment, it is usually followed by something else. Most follow up statements are along the lines of "you're not living up to your full potential", or another backhanded remark about laziness. 
People are shocked when they learn that I didn't go to a four year college or that I don't have a budding career. 
I don't have a brain built for school. The thought of sitting in a lecture or reading a textbook makes me want to cry. Honestly, school was always overwhelming to me and caused a lot of anxiety. I lost confidence in myself when I did poorly, and no matter what I did, I could never find a way to get better. 
Studying was hard for me, and having to sit and listen to someone talk made my mind fall asleep. My notes were filled, cover to cover, with drawings. I know it seemed like I wasn't paying attention, but I retained more than even I thought I did. 
Outside of school, I truly love learning. I enjoy trying new things and going new places. I love reading, history, and art, but I don't have a linear mind. My train of thought is on a winding track that doesn't stop. My mind is always racing, even when it seems like it's not. It's hard for me to make decisions because I am in constant fear of making the wrong choice.
My head is constantly full of ideas, seeing life as a poetic work of art and trying to process it all, everyday...it's not something I can turn off. I love working, in no way am I not living up to my potential, I just don't know what it is. It's scary and overwhelming and honestly, my scattered and colorful mind is what helps me stay focused on what is important. I see potential around every corner, and picking one option is not how I work. I have people around me to encourage, push me, and help me make decisions, but I also need other people to know: telling a free spirit or creative thinker that they are lazy helps no one. You don't know what is going on in their minds. Just because you don't understand their potential does not mean that they are not meeting or exceeding it. I'm trying to figure life out, I'm not lazy. I'm stressed out, I'm not ignoring my potential, I'm just trying to find where I fit. 
Instead of judging my journey, encourage my in it, because like the wonderful Tolkin said, "Not all who wonder are lost..."

Keep wandering always...Adventure Awaits. 
{The Grounded Gypsy}